Meant to be

6 Aug

I miss the kiss
of your lips,
the curve
of your hips,
the small
of your back
and your long
black hair.
I miss the way
that you fit
into my arms as if
we were always
meant to be a pair.

Jumper

5 Aug

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It’s a perfect night
for a suicide,
I’m jumping off, diving
tired of hiding
all this pain inside,
tonight’s the night,
it’s time for me
to finally die

Gone

1 Aug

I’ve never felt so
hopelessly alone,
so utterly ignored,
unthought of
and unknown.
I want to disappear,
vanish without a trace,
leave no memory of me,
I just want to be erased.

EMMA

28 Jul

I despise the way
you smile at me
as you fucking lie
through your teeth,
and I grieve the loss
of your honesty
as I witness you
murdering the truth.
This brutal betrayal
conveys your indifference
and I wish that you’d
split the difference in two
and leave me alone,
instead of destroying
what’s left of my soul
by toying with me
until you get bored.

Damages

27 Jul

Even though
I know it’s cracked,
somewhere deep
within your heart
is a light that shines
through all the black,
but the hurtful words
hurled from your lips,
sunk in too deep
to be taken back.

Black hole

24 Jul

I used to have
a soul,
but it was
systematically removed
and replaced
by a fucking,
sucking, vacuous
black hole.

It’s like……That

21 Jul

Love is like…
…going home,
it’s that feeling
of belonging,
to someone…
…or somewhere
you can be yourself
without having to
ever be alone,
a place where
you are wanted
despite your darkest
secrets being known.

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Reprobate

21 Jun

I’ve been told that
I write too much
about love,
there seems to be
those who’d prefer
more hardcore sex,
or maybe even poems
about the vast emptiness
of my own existence,
the deep, dark hole
of my depression,
which I fill with whiskey
and prescription medication,
what about the nameless whores
I fill up with my erections,
these women I degrade
to satiate my own frustrations,
how about the countless hours
I wile away in solitude,
a sulking suicidal mood,
contemplating my demise and
your utter lack of surprise when,
contrary to your wishes,
I continue to keep living
so I can write another love poem,
just because I know you
find it so fucking sickening.

Blissful Oblivion

20 Jun

Drugging myself
into total oblivion
just to live again,
just to feel anything
except the pain
you left in your wake,
day after day
waking up alone
with the memory
of your silence
and indifference,
knowing too well
that hurting myself
just to spite you
wouldn’t even make
a damn bit of difference,
you were emptied
of all your empathy
long before I met you,
you rationed out
all your compassion
to lesser fools
who used you up,
so a medicated oblivion
has become my only friend,
the only way I know
to ever feel the bliss
your love once rendered,
the only way I know
to ever feel alive again.

A Reason to Believe In

8 Jun

I gotta believe this life
has some higher meaning
besides scraping and kneeling
or just trying to get by,
I have a feeling there’s
a reason for all this madness,
a purpose to this puzzle
we all call existence,
a plausible explanation
why we seem wired to survive;
and it occurs to me with
quite a nagging persistence,
despite my reluctance and
your petulant resistance,
that loving each other in
the profoundly twisted way
only you and I could ever do,
is actually the only reason
two broken souls like us
will ever need to get us through.

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