Nightlife

12 May
I go out nights now,
because staying in
had gotten to be an
unbearable routine,
of flipping through
glossy paged magazines,
filled cover to cover
with false imagery 
depicting scenes of 
how my life could be;
checking my Instagram feed,
which is full of people
who seem to be leading 
such exciting lives, but
it’s mostly lies, I know,
their photos only showing
what they want you to see,
a freeze framed memory
probably taken years ago.
So I decided that pictures
are better framed on shelves,
and I go out nights now 
to experience life for myself.

  

Step by Step

11 May

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What a week it’s been! I started this journey of mine just a week ago and already so much has happened I can hardly cram it all into one post. The opening quote from Lao Tzu happens to be quite appropriate given that all journeys begin with just a step. My first one was to go out and procure the necessary supplies I’d need to venture out into the wild.
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After that was complete step two was training. See a couple friends of mine invited me on what is arguably the most dangerous hike in the entire Shenandoah National Park, Old Rag Mountain, so I thought maybe a little preparatory physical training would be a smart idea, little did I know just how much of a difference it would make! And even though I walked….and walked and walked until I was sick of walking, I was still underprepared for what would be one of the most strenuous yet rewarding hikes I’d ever been on.
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I even made some new friends
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and finally I reached the summit!
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A couple important lessons I learned on this outing: never stop moving; never tell yourself it’s almost over, it’s only over when it’s over and never before; and it’s not until you know what you are capable of that you may know of that which you are not. I will leave you with a song that, despite its title, kept me going when all I wanted to do was quit.
UPDATE: I completely forgot to mention that the entire hike was frought with giant bumble bees or how this particularly stubborn rattlesnake didn’t want to move from the middle of the trail, but maybe I’d better save that story for another post!
Until Next Time,
Erik

Day 1

4 May
Everyone’s searching for something, something to help them make sense of this senseless shit show we call existence, or just something to give their lives a sense of purpose. Some people are even lucky enough to actually find that special something be it a career, a calling, a passion, or even another person, but for most of us the search itself is as far as we will ever get in our quest for personal and/or spiritual enlightenment. However, in order to succeed, one must actually begin that journey of self discovery and not just contemplate it. Someone once said “It’s never too late to be who you might have been”, and while it may never be too late I’m certainly done wasting any more time on things, and especially people, that aren’t worth another fucking second of that ever so precious and finite resource.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that this is the beginning of that journey for me. I’m hitting the open trail, hiking and biking my way towards some type of personal salvation before I wake up one day and realize that maybe it is too late after all. So while I am sure to post more poetry, this blog is going to morph into something else, a journal of sorts, of this journey into the wild. I’m not promising daily updates but I want to try to post regularly, whether it’s photos, thoughts, poetry or just songs from a yet to be created playlist.
I want to thank Helena for her inspirational, and brutally honest writing that has partially inspired me and I especially want to thank my friend Cynthia for everything she is, which is the most beautiful soul I’ve ever known and one hell of a writer. I sincerely hope you keep writing my dear and all I can really say to you is this:
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and with that I leave whoever is still reading this ramble with song 1 on my playlist, enjoy!
Until next time,
Erik

To the Wonder

22 Apr

  

Alchemy

16 Apr

You cause me to conjure 

vivid images in my mind,
of a far better time
in a not so distant future,
in a place of our own making 
where at last you’ll be taken,
finally escaping this dream
to experience the reality of 
endless possibilities with me,
every day I’m creating it,
brick by brick, stone by stone
this new home of ours,
far out beyond the stars
through nebulas and galaxies
and the endless sea of time,
I’ve left nothing to chance
and I’ve spared no expense 
very soon now there’ll be 
but one remaining task,
take a leap of faith with me
and let’s never ever look back.

Immortals

17 Mar
In a past life
I think I must have
somehow outgrown this world,
my love of material things
faded and waned
and then it was replaced
with a love for an eternal being,
how many times
have I found you,
how many lifetimes
have we been bound,
and how long can this 
terra firma sphere
keep spinning round and round,
flinging us from fling to fling,
bringing us ever closer
to this thing called the end;
and even though that week
was as brief as a heartbeat,
the way we were elevated
to that ethereal place
was no small feat
by any means, 
if I have to wait 
a thousand more years
for this distance to dissipate,
for this heartache to abate,
then that’s what I’ll do
because being back in your arms
isn’t just a dream,
it’s our inescapable fate.

Window

6 Mar
I sit and stare 
out my window wondering,
why it is that
you aren’t coming 
around anymore,
why my door
has fallen suddenly silent,
why the soft, subtle 
sound of your singing 
isn’t ringing in my ears,
as days turn to months
and lapse into years,
my waiting presence
in the window lessens 
until at last it just disappears.

Immemorial 

3 Mar
I am my fathers son,
but the man he was
I will never become
swish
……swish
clink
……clink
I watch the amber liquid swirl
round the bottom of the snifter,
the old mans very own elixir,
how quick his fists of fury flew,
the beauty of his left hook thrown,
such elegance in its follow through,
My mothers arms
that hid her face
in graceful desperation,
how they flailed
but always failed
to defend for the duration,
the wrenching sadness
and sorrowful eyes,
the complicity of shame,
the violent madness
and silent goodbye,
the terror in my gaze,
swish
……swish
clink
……clink
in remembering
all these memories 
I always forget to drink.

Lebanon

1 Mar
My mind is often
cast like a breeze
through the cedars,
and I see her 
beyond the desert dust,
devoid of any
lust for this world, 
her heart is pure
for she holdeth 
no rose between her lips
nor weareth any crown
of flowers upon her head;
it is said the truth lies 
to the east
where she resides, 
in Beirut, where my future
no longer waits for me,
what could’ve been,
what should’ve been,
a love that still
may someday be.
for Cynthia

Leeward

28 Feb

You only come to me now 

in waves 
that are decaying,
the heave seems shorter
than it used to be,
and the period between
crests is increasing 
from our attenuation,
a dissipation of attention,
the calming of affection,
but I remember when 
we were still leeward,
how beautifully we sailed
on deep sea swells 
that would rise 
to heights we’d not seen, 
how splendid it all seemed,
until we refracted,
began to start shoaling
and I overreacted,
we split, courses shifted,
and I admittedly became 
just another incident wave.

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